"I'm not that horny.I just got out of prison."
Going For the Record
The First Sergeant warned us:
"But you don't know her."
"Yes, I do."
They will make you fall in love. They know what to
say. They know what to do. Then know when to do it, and
they know when to say it. They know how to make you
feel. They will wash your dick. She will hold your arm and
stroll you around the entire city. You will think that she is
showing you off, and introducing you, but she is showing
every other woman her property, and warning them to stay
away.
My previous record was four. That needs a little
explaining. To meet the criteria for the record, you must
have penile penetration, you must orgasm, and the willing,
live, females must not be aware that you have had sex with
other women on that particular day.
I laid my wife, Claire, at approximately 0340 hours that
morning. That was a bigger miracle than breaking the record.
I was up early to pack for bowling night when she made her
surprise attack. The act only took me fi ve minutes. Then,
I met my most frequent and easy strange piece of patch at a
park about a mile from my work. We do not always meet,
only when we are both in town early, and nobody else is in
our spot. That nut came off at approximately 0525 hours.
After work, I checked my voice-mail, and discovered that
a great piece that I had not seen in a while was waiting for
me. It was at this time, it dawned on me. I had a shot at
the record.
Roughly two beers into the meeting, my cooperative
friend claimed, "My brother's house is only a couple miles
from here. He has a fridge full of booze, and he is not
home." That nut came off at approximately 1545 hours. She
was shaved clean, the best by far so far, and also the fi rst to
orgasm -- as if I cared.
A previous arrangement was made to meet a former
classmate for supper. There was no previous intention
to obtain anything other than a bite to eat, but now there
was a goal in mind. I begged for her to mount me in the
parking lot. It was getting dark, and she did not take much
convincing. The fourth orgasm was work, probably because
of the others, and/or the location, but it came off at roughly
1750 hours.
Bowling night was planned, but the hook-up was not.
I met a young lady who was leaving for The Great Lakes
Naval Training Facility in a few short months. I convinced
the future "Wave" that she needed some experience from a
salty Marine. She had an unbelievably gorgeous ass, and
I hit it for over half an hour, doggy-style. That effort was
incredible, but enjoyable. Hell, I was happy as a motherfucker,
maybe even more than that. Number fi ve came off
at 2157. I was watching my watch.
Potsy the one-eyed Nazi was beyond getting sore.
With the record broken, and Captain Morgan needing some
additional attention, I called it an evening and headed for my
bowling buddies apartment. On the way, I received a call
on my cell phone.
"Hey Heck, whatcha doin'?"
"Just driving over to my buddies."
"Well, I'm in Lincoln, visiting my parents. I was
wondering if you could come over."
"I'm drunk, and I'm tired. I've got to get up for work
by fi ve."
"Can I come and get you? I'll make it worth your
while."
"I'm at 4606 Judson, just a few blocks south of
Cornhusker, north of Adams." All of a sudden, I had the
chance to shatter the previous record. If only I could nut
a sixth time. Damn, why did I not have this chance when
I was 21, and could nut three times as much? It was only
2310 hours.
I had 50 minutes to shoot the record-breaking jism. I
started thinking, "Why didn't I get laid at work?" I know
exactly why. If there is one, that is the location where I
attempt to remain professional.
If you remember, this recent phone call, and ensuing
pick-up, was from the gal from New Orleans who could
theoretically make me a bi-sexual. She was chemically
inconvenienced, pectorally superior - I mean really well
nourished in the thoracic region, horizontally accessible,
and vocally appreciative. Hell, I came with 10 minutes to
spare.
Proverbs Chapter 6
23For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light;
reproofs of instruction are the way of life,
24To keep you from the evil woman, from the fl attering
tongue of a seductress.
25Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her
allure you with her eyelids.
26For by means of a harlot a man is reduced to a crust of
bread; and an adulteress will prey upon his precious life.
Dream Journal
The trouble I have had with fl ying is control and
obstacles. Putting on the brakes and changing direction
is something I never quite mastered. It is probably from
watching too much of The Greatest American Hero when I
was younger. I always got the visual of running into shit.
The most frequent and hard to avoid were the god damn
telephone wires. They were at every height and thicker than
shit. I do not mean each wire was thick, I mean they were
too multiple and close together. Half the time, I could not
get through them. I always had a boner, and it constantly
got hung up on the wires.